and that I always come back anyway.

But over time, I’m feeling increasingly alone on this site. And the more distant everyone feels, the less desire I have to come back.

I feel every bit as separate from all of you here as I do from the people here in the real world. With the exception that people in the real world actually talk to me sometimes and acknowledge my existence sometimes.

It seems no matter what I post or how long I leave, I can always expect to return to find zero new notes or messages. There are a number of people that I met here and that I used to talk to sometimes, but they don’t seem to remember me or have any interest or whatever.

I just feel like a ghost. Like I can pound on the walls and scream in your faces and you still won’t know I’m here.

I’m not trying to complain that I’m not popular, or that you should all be making me the center of your lives, though I know that’s what it looks like and it’s what you’ll think to yourselves.

I’m just trying to explain why I don’t want to be here anymore and the way this place makes me feel now.

Originally I liked being here, I felt more important and more like a part of a community.

But perhaps like real life, I’ve overstayed my welcome. Perhaps the people that thought I might be cool have realized now that I’m not. Perhaps all 191 of you are just too busy. Perhaps I’ve just stopped posting anything of value. Perhaps I complain and whine too much. Perhaps it’s really me that’s too absent. It could be anything, really.

All I know for sure is that I feel invisible here. Ghost was a perfect word choice.

I’m sure I’ll come back like I always do. If for no other reason than because there’s porn here. But I wouldn’t count on seeing much more from me if I were any of you. You’re all still following me for some reason. Maybe you’ve just been too busy to hit unfollow. I guess it doesn’t hurt to be following someone who rarely posts.

I’ve been going back and forth about whether to leave my contact info behind again while I’ve been writing this. If any of you had any desire to interact with me, you’d have been doing so. I guess if you really want to talk to me, I’ve posted my contact info a few times before. It’s probably in my /tagged/me area somewhere. Or I guess you could send me messages here. I’m sure I’ll see it when I come back looking for porn again or something.

Sometimes I think about unfollowing everyone. But then I think “why bother?”

I remember a lot of you as I scroll past your posts. I remember how I fucked up whatever friendship we had. It still amazes me that you’re even still here. You’re still following me or have refollowed me, despite everything. I think maybe you just feel obligated or something. Maybe you just don’t want to be seen leaving. Maybe you just don’t want me to know you’ve decided to stop considering me a friend. Maybe you don’t want to be the one to unfollow or unfriend. Maybe you’re just waiting for the opportunity to “clear the trash” from your friend/follow lists. If you are, you should just do it. I won’t come after you or anything. I’ll understand. Honestly, I’ve been expecting you to for a long time. Any time I see my follower count decrease, I always check to see if it was finally you. Somehow it never is. Maybe I’m too unimportant to even bother unfollowing/unfriending.

So I think now that it is time for this ghost to move towards the light. Not that there is any light. I suppose it’s just as well. I don’t think I really belonged here anyway. Besides, with all the shit I have to do, I really shouldn’t ever have been on this site to begin with. Of course, leaving here isn’t going to result in me working any harder in life. But it’s one less distraction, I guess.

I hope you all do well in life. I hope you all find whatever you’re looking for.

Best of Crazy Catgirl Cody meme.

goatkult:

ceorfaex:

tothedeathsheadtrue:

whiskey-wolf:

And this is what happens when a masterfully crafted katana collides with a masterfully crafted longsword.

Suck it, katana

HAH!

suck my fuckin’ diiiick

Aren’t katanas and longswords made for different overall purposes tho

Katanas are slasher weapons made for cutting masterfully through human flesh so obviously it’s not gonna get through a fucking longsword which is really fucking thick and heavy and made for beating the shit out of people as well as hacking at armour

A katana would slice the shit out of you guys so idk what the fuck you’re so smug about

Um, yeah, and I can’t help but notice that that longsword is laid against a fucking anvil. Gee, I wonder why the longsword didn’t bend or break at all!

lostintrafficlights:

littlefuckinglesbian:

jawdust:

where is this guy’s blockbuster movie

hero.

Oh my god this is folk tale stuff

Yeah, I totally wanna sit and watch a guy dig for an hour and a half. I’d totally see that in theaters.

My arguments are ludicrous and offensive?

Maybe I’m insane, I don’t see how they are?

Someone point out how they are?

I’m having too much fun…

Blue: What song do you listen to when you’re feeling down?

I tend to listen to My Dying Bride or Swallow the Sun when I’m down, which isn’t the greatest because it just really keeps me feeling down. If I want to stop feeling down, I’ll put on happier music, like Van Halen or something to try and pull myself out of it.

Cup: Do you drink Tea or Coffee? 

I don’t drink either. I hate the smell of coffee. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t like it if I drank it. I’ve tried some kinds of tea before, no idea what they were, but I didn’t care for them. Can’t really explain why.

English: How many languages can you speak?

Just English. I took 3 years of Spanish in high school but didn’t pay much attention. I can only recognize a few words now. I’ve always wanted to learn Japanese and German. I’ve started trying to learn Japanese a little bit, but I still can’t really do anything with it. I can read hiragana now, though. I can’t write all of it yet, though.

Fear: Tell us three fears.

Living and dying alone (a thing I now believe I will have to endure. There’s no evidence this won’t happen to me.)

Having a full time job. (I have a great many hobbies and not nearly enough time to do any of them. To me, having a full time job means sacrificing everything I enjoy and wanted to accomplish, just so that I can make pocket change. I view having a job as being the end of my life. And I am in desperate need of having a job now, so I’ve been pretty stressed out and depressed lately as a result.)

Those two things are by far my biggest nightmares. My greatest fears. And I’m forced to live them.

For a third fear, I can’t really think of anything. Those two things are so severe that anything else just seems like nothing.

Game: What was the last board game you played?

I have no idea. Monopoly, maybe? I haven’t played a board game in a very long time.

Harry Potter: What was the last book you read?

Darth Plagueis, I believe.

Injury: Have you ever walked into a glass door?

Not that I can recall.

Jump: Do five jumping jacks/star jump. 

No.

Kiss: Who’s your biggest celebrity crush?

Emma Stone, I guess. She just seems so much like the sort of girl I’d want to date.

Love: Do you believe in marriage? 

Yes and no. I believe marriage should be a life-long thing. That you should not marry someone if there is even the slightest chance you could ever get divorced. To me, marriage should never be a temporary thing. I honestly believed with everything inside me that I would be with my ex forever. It never occurred to me that we wouldn’t be. I had intended to marry her. Then she left. To the last day of our relationship, I believed we’d be together forever. I feel now that I don’t think I could ever really trust anyone again enough to marry them. I was with my ex for 3 and a half years and she walked away. I don’t think I could ever trust anyone not to walk away again. Even if I loved them. Even if they claimed they loved me. I’ll never have another girlfriend, the world has made it clear it isn’t interested in me (except for 15-16 year olds for some reason). But even if I found someone to love who claimed to love me, I think I’d always expect them to walk away, too.

Money: What would you do with 1 million dollars?

I think I’d use it for a lot of smaller things (relatively speaking). I’d get the Samsung Galaxy S4 in the 64gb internal storage size with a 64gb SD card. I’d get a new 4tb external hard drive. I’d get a flat screen monitor to use as a second screen with my laptop. I’d get a small house near the edge of a medium sized town, perhaps, so that I wouldn’t be in the thick of chaotic roads and masses of people, but still close enough to walk into town if I wanted to. I’d have a sound-proof room installed so I could have a music room to play my guitar without pissing off the neighbors. I’d look into getting an electric car like the Nissan Leaf to see if it would be viable for me (I really want a fully electric car, but they have a very limited range and recharging is a bit of a lengthy process and would require a place to charge, which doesn’t really exist here yet.) I’d get some super fast internet and a big screen HD tv. I’d get the latest video game systems and maybe a couple of games (don’t really know of any I actually want right now). After that, I’d just live off the rest so I wouldn’t have to get a job. At least not for a long time. Or a while.

Naughty: Tell us three things that your parents disapprove of?

My not having a job is the really major one for my dad. My long hair, again from my dad. All the games and “cartoons” (anime, Metalocalypse, whatever) that I watch/play. Oh, the fact that I’m atheist. My dad hates that. My mom is hyper religious and insists I will find god in time. But at least she’s stopped trying to force it on me.

Oops: What is one thing you’d like to change/fix?

Everything. There’s pretty much nothing I’m happy with. I’m miserable and alone. I have horrible fucked up teeth. Acne and acne scarring, especially on my back. I have no muscle to speak of. I’m horribly out of shape. I’m the pickiest eater alive. I’m stuck with my shitty family due to a fear of having a job. I can’t play the guitar like I always wanted to. I can’t program to save my life, which I’m supposed to be doing right now if I ever want to get paid for making games. I don’t know Japanese like I wanted to. I’m just this horrible waste of space. I’m lazy, I procrastinate, I’m spoiled. I could list shit forever. If I could do my life over, there’s basically nothing I’d do the same. Except for have long hair and wear all black, I guess. And the music I listen to, except I would have started right from the beginning and I’d have a lot more of it and I’d have seen the bands I love when I still could have (Pantera). I wouldn’t have dated my ex. I would have been proficient with the guitar before I even got to high school. I would have learned a bunch of languages, programming, I would have tried to be a skilled artist. I would have done everything different. My life has just been 25 years of worthlessness, wrong decisions, pain, brokenness, just.. sigh..

Picture: Post a pic of your lovely face.

I’m in desperate need of a shower, so no.

Quality: Name three of your favorite blogs.

These days, I don’t care about anyone’s blog. Everyone posts spoilers to the shows I watch. They’re all run by people who don’t talk to me, or who maybe have a little but stopped. I might as well not exist to 99.99% of them. The one or two people on tumblr who do give any kind of shit about me are people I don’t interact with on tumblr. I go to tumblr now mostly to look at porn. Because that’s the only thing I can count on from tumblr now. Even though it’s depressing to be constantly reminded of what I’ll never see, have or feel again.

Rapunzel: Name three Disney movies that you adore. 

I haven’t watched a Disney movie in ages. I always liked Robin Hood. Wall-E was good. I don’t know, I lost interest.

Star-sign: When’s your birthday? 

September 12th.

Teacher: What do you aspire to be?

I don’t aspire to be anything. I’m only interested in accomplishing things. Learning things, doing things, making things. I want to make music, animations, games, stories, art. I want to learn lots of world languages. I want to play with and see new amazing tech. I want to watch movies and tv shows and anime. I want to read manga and start getting into reading books. I want to play games. I’d like to not be alone when I do..

Unite: Do you sponsor a cause?

I have no money, so I can’t. I saw the SOPHIE Lancaster foundation a while back and wished I could support that. I also saw Kevin Smith’s Wayne Foundation and wanted to support that.

Varsity: Do you play/watch sport? 

I hate sports.

Xylophone: Do you play an instrument? 

I used to play the guitar. But I became too busy with school work when I started attending ITT. I’ve pretty much not touched my guitar since I started there. Now that I graduated with my 4 year degree, I still can’t play. Now it’s because all my gear is in the basement and the basement is infested with box elder bugs, which I just can’t handle.

Yellow: What’s your favorite color? 

Black with red as an accent color.

Zoo: What is your favorite animal? 

Cats. All cats. Big cats, domestic cats.

vagina-itch:

i like it when my drinks are colder than my heart

How do you drink a solid?

catsayswhat:

clinical-lab-scientist:

Rise of The Robot Phlebotomists

It’s a robot designed to draw blood from people, or scare the Goth out of needlephobes, and created by the Imperial College (London).
Bloodbot How does it work?  According to Wired, the nightmare-inducing machine presses a probe against the surface tissue and measures the force on the probe. The pressure difference across the area indicates the presence of a vein. Once the Bloodbot finds a vein it inserts a needle and draws the blood. The system is sophisticated and precise enough to ensure that it doesn’t insert the needle too far into the vein or overshoot the vein.

My view: I don’t feel very happy though, having a robot as a competitor in phlebotomy. But it’s a good invention.

FUCK THIS SHIT GETTING BLOOD DRAWN IS HELLISH ENOUGH.

Needles terrify me. But I think having an extremely precise robot like this would actually make me feel better. I’ve had some pretty painful shots from nurses or whatever just kind of jabbing the needle in and pushing the fluid in fast. This says the robot has a good way of finding veins and knows how far to push the needle in. I feel like this thing would do a much better and less painful job of it. So I’m all for it.

So I see Black Label Society and Hellyeah are announced for Gigantour. I’ve never looked into Gigantour before.

So I looked at the dates to see when they’d be coming to Minnesota because I fucking want to see BLS again, and seeing Vinnie in Hellyeah would be pretty awesome.

And.

They’re not fucking coming to Minnesota (unless there are more dates not listed on the page I’m looking at).

And there’s only like 5 dates on the list (hyperbole).

Why the fuck would you call it “Gigantour” if it’s really more like “FuckingTinyTour”.

awkwardvagina:

popcorn? no thanks i only eat heavymetalcorn

What about both?

So I decided to 3D model my Minecraft character and Lilith, my pet bat familiar, for no reason other than because I could.

Not sure if or what I’ll do with this.

Why did the world just suddenly discover they exist like a few months ago?

Why is the world so obsessed with them?

Do you all realize you’re insane?

Sloths aren’t even cute.

They’re covered in algae.

They have long, weird-ass arms with long weird-ass claws

They have dopey-looking faces.

They’re slow as shit.

I DON’T FUCKING UNDERSTAND.

did-you-kno:

Source

I read a brief description of this pit in high school, roughly 10 years ago and it has always stuck in my mind as one of the most fascinating mysteries I’ve ever heard about.

I just read the last two sections of the article and got a lot of extremely fascinating details that I hadn’t previously known.

I’d love to know the secrets of that pit… Who created it, how and why, and what’s in it. That last paragraph definitely made things a lot more crazy…